after dinner sneeze

t says:  I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been seeing a lot of Greek yogurt.  And not the plain, traditional Greek yogurt, rather, their fancy, fruit/honey-endowed cousins by Fage, Chobani, Oikos (Stonyfield), and whoever else is trying to get in on the action.  At the grocery store, the selection of Greek yogurts is slowly overtaking the normal yogurts (at Wegman’s, anyways).  And then there’s the chit-chat at the grocery store between strangers staring at the shelves: “yea – did you try the honey?  it’s the best.” “no – I like the fruity Chobani.”  “no, you got to try the Fage.”  Figuring that this was just a Wegman’s thing, I ignored it and picked up the boring strawberry Stonyfield yogurts with the fruit on the bottom and went along my way.  And then, at work, in the same week, my medical colleagues and bosses all whipped out their Chobanis and started discussing not only the health virtues of Greek yogurt (apparently there’s more protein in Greek yogurts) but also which one’s yummier.  Then when I brought it up to g, she was like, “yea – I told you about these like two years ago … you gotta try the honey one!”.

I had had enough.

It was time for a taste-off.  “We got a taste-off here!”

I picked up a variety of Greek yogurts, and throughout the course of a few weeks, I’ve formulated my opinions about them.  I’ve come to appreciate the yogurt “twang” – you know that yogurty taste that makes Yogorino so different than plain ‘ol custard?  And now I pass along my impressions to you …

From worst to best:

5)  Dannon Greek yogurt:  Sorry Dannon – you’re on the bottom … much like your fruit (damn I’m funny).  The taste and texture were both “off”.  The yogurt flavor was muted, the fruit flavor was muted.  It was kind of soupy.  All in all, this cup tasted the most like … ?the Yoplait yogurts I grew up on?

4)  Fage Total Classic Full Fat Greek yogurt: It has a weird name (apparently pronounced “Fa-yeh”), and I’m pretty sure that Fage doesn’t call it “Full Fat”, but I do as a way to compare it to the 2% and 0% versions.  This is a man’s man yogurt.  It’s thick.  Real thick.  It can’t even really be considered “creamy” because it’s so thick.  And after eating it, I was full – like a omg-I-just-ate-5-Bisquick-pancakes full.  I guess I’m just not manly enough …

3)  Chobani 2%:  Ok – so I think this is going to be the most controversial statement of this post.  I tried out the Chobani and to be honest – it didn’t blow my mind.  This is the one I see around most often – probably because there are exciting flavors like mango or pineapple.  While it certainly was better than Dannon in terms of taste, it still lacked the Greek yogurt “twang” that I figured was one of the main reasons why one would want a Greek yogurt instead of one of the boring American yogurts.  That said, I think that these are a great transitional yogurt before moving on to to the number 1 slot (we’ll get there soon!).

2) Oikos:  Oikos, owned by Stonyfield, does an “good” job.  To be honest, the fruit ones are definitely not any better than Chobani – there’s more of a twang to it, so I like it more, but the fruit is not as vivid.  So what gives?  I’ll tell you what gives:

Chocolate!

You know when you go to Yogorino and there’s something so delicious about their yogurt when you top it with chocolate (or pistachio *drools*)?  Well, this is that same deliciousness.  There’s something so seductive about a little dose of chocolate that plays with that yogurt twang that I’ve eaten this not only for breakfast, but also dessert.  I wish they’d sell it in larger sized cups!!  I’m sure that my praise for chocolate Greek yogurt (and for the record, it’s plain Greek yogurt with a layer of chocolate on the bottom) is one of the reasons g may say “you’re like a child”, but I don’t care … children are happy … and so am I!  As a sidenote, Oikos does have a caramel one, too, but the texture of the caramel is all off and the caramel is too sweet – the chocolate is superior in every way.

1)  Fage 2% Greek yogurt: And it all comes back to Fage.  It has a strong twang and pretty good fruit should you choose one of those (I prefer the cherry to the strawberry, which was a bit mellow) … but the honey is where it’s at.  Seriously.  I don’t even like the taste of honey all that much, but soon after flipping up that honey cup and dragging the honey on top of the yogurt using my spoon, I’m a happy camper.  The texture is thicker than all of the others except the full-fat version, so it’s pleasant, not overwhelming.  What’s interesting is that the directions specifically say to not “mix” the honey and the yogurt – and I’m not sure why, but one time, when I mixed it, it didn’t taste as good as a gentle folding in of the honey.  g doesn’t mix at all and just digs deep with her spoon from a top layer of honey all the way down to the bottom of the cup.  Well, however you’re supposed to eat this thing, what I can say is that this was the cup that made me understand what the craze was all about …

In conclusion, the only two that I now buy are the chocolate Oikos and the Fage honey – they’re both so delicious.