after dinner sneeze

t says: You read the title, and now you’re wondering: “why?”. Trust me, it tastes good.

For those that don’t know what kimchi is, here’s a picture:

Meet my friend Kimchi.

It’s cabbage that’s been pickled in a fiery red chile liquid. Korean grandmothers are said to have buried jars of it in the ground as it “ripens” in flavor (that’s my term for it). It’s not much to look at (it’s red cabbage) and it’s offensive to the nose (I thought that they buried it due to lack of modern refrigeration, however, I now believe they buried it to keep it out of the house). Nowadays, most people will either have a separate fridge for it or keep it for no longer than a couple days. But the taste is unique; it’s sour and spicy and (depending on how far along it was) crisp and fresh. It’s also readily available in Korean supermarkets (e.g. Hmart), and the quality’s pretty good.

So now, back to pizza … Surely you’ve had your fair share of frozen pizzas, be it Ellios pizza as a kid, Bagel Bites in college, or DiGiorno as a sucker for believing those dumb commercials (been there, done that). Well, g had some friends in college who claimed that that putting kimchi on frozen pizza was the best way to make it, period. I’ll admit, I was doubtful at first, as cheese and kimchi is not a traditional combination (I blame the higher prevalance of lactose intolerance among Koreans).  That said, in our household, kimchi has elevated the frozen pizza from a we-should-keep-one-in-the-freezer-just-in-case option to a we-should-definitely-eat-frozen-pizza-for-dinner option. We’ve tried many varieties of pizza and they all work reasonably well (with one exception being the self-rising crust pizzas – I guess there was too much liquid in the kimchi). The following is the best combo we’ve come across thus far:

Ingredients:

__ 1 California Pizza Kitchen “White” frozen pizza (it’s the one with cheese and spinach – they didn’t have it for the one I used for the pix – so I had to use some weird non-CPK “Organic” one that boasts “Tastes Organic” – what does that mean?).
__ Kimchi, to taste (I use ~0.5 c; the longer you keep it in your fridge, the more “funk” it gets)
__ Parmigiano Reggiano, to taste

Methods:

0) Preheat the oven as per the frozen pizza’s directions.

1) Pat dry the kimchi you intend to use. Slice kimchi (this is perhaps the only time I’d advise against cutting on a wood cutting board – kimchi will stain it red and give it a funk for along time) into thin strips about 1″ long.

2) Distribute kimchi on top of unwrapped pizza. I tend to avoid the middle of the pizza because the middle is often the least-cooked part of the pizza, and I want the entire crust to be crispy, so I don’t want to add additional water to the middle. Finely grate parm-reg on top of pizza.

Kimchi, say cheese!

3) Bake as per the directions (I bake directly on the oven rack with a sheet of aluminum foil on a rack below to catch drips) plus an extra minute or two. The more kimchi you added, the longer you may have to bake. To ‘test’ doneness, I use a fork/spoon to gently lift the edge of the pizza and see if the pizza is as stiff as I like.

Bake until the crust is golden and the cheese is brown ...

... like this!

4)  Remove from oven.  Cut and enjoy.  Cutting this kind of pizza with a knife might be difficult – go for a rotary pizza cutter.